Gnome Alone | Horror Movie Reaction

 

The movie starts with some really badass animation intercut with some scenes that explain the back story of a Leprechaun and the witch who betrayed him. She was marked with the sign of the curse, so she summoned a Gnome for protection. With each generation a new witch is marked with the curse, and the gnome comes with it. That is the true synopsis, and not the ramblings of drunk hobo.

We meet an old witch and a young store clerk. It has that muted color thing that I hate. Thugs attack, but instead of an action scene we get a WWE style shaky cam. (Do they still do that? I stopped watching several years ago. I like Lucha Underground better.)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Anyway there is a 35 year-old bully with flipped up collar, because people still do that. Right?
What teacher wears a tight leather mini skirt? Well, maybe in Florida. Florida seems to have an issue with female teachers being pedophiles.

My thoughts as I watched this:
College bells? Where do they do this?

This movie is a special kind of bad.
She’s rich and her mom’s an alcoholic. Andale!
Stepdad is a perve.
Stereotypical college party beer pong.
Who goes on a beer run alone? Usually 2 two people go.

Did the witch just wake up the next night, just to get hit by beer run guy?
This movie looks like it’s going to be just the right kind of bad.
The dialog is better than what you would expect from a movie like this.

There are bad movies and then there are movies so bad they’re good. This is the later. The problem with the former is that it’s the type of movie that takes itself seriously even though it sucks. Gnome Alone is not even trying to be good. This is an exploitation movie and makes no apologies. The main actress is bad, the story is dumb, there is a lot of nudity, and the gore effects are OK.

Speaking of sex scenes, there was a sex scene with girl blindfolded. It was 50 shades of stupid.
Upstairs from the party there were freak room strippers, sex toys, submissive in a cage. I said it before and I’ll say it again the biggest freaks wear polo shirts.

The one thing that would have made this the perfect B-movie exploitation film is if they had the Leprechaun fight the Gnome. If you are a B-movie aficionado like me, definitely give Gnome Alone a look.

Comments are welcome. I love to hear what you think, but racist, homophobic, or sexist comments will be deleted. It's not that kind of party.

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