Top 10 Reasons I Will Miss the IMDb Message Boards

It’s 1/4 to 4 am and this is when I would be reading the IMDb forums, but they are no more, so now is as good a time as any to make a video about what I’ll miss about them. Since top 10 lists are popping right now. Here goes another one.

10. “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it.” Threads

I’m sure this started out as a real person, but along the way it turned into a way to troll so many R-Rated/NC-17 movies.
     “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it?”
The Human Centipede
     “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it?”
Serbian Film
     “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it?”
     “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it?”
Nymphomaniac Vol. 1.
     “Can I take my 6-year-old to see it?”
The movie is named Nymphomaniac Vol. 1.

9. Book versus the movie discussions

This was especially great when it came to horror and Sci-fi. There was a particularly good discussion about how the American version of Let Me In completely left out a pretty big defining characteristic of Ely that was addressed in the Swedish version of Let The Right One In. It was a very subtle, blink and you’ll miss it way, but it was addressed. This actually prompted me to read the book.

Spoiler Alert!

Ely is short for Elias and, he is a castrated little boy who is also a vampire. I guess America is not ready for two little boys cuddling. All the violence and bloodshed is all good though.
What you thought you were gonna get an IMDb Message board video without spoilers? We’re talking about IMDb. Have you been to an IMDb message board?
Speaking of which…

8. Thread titles that contain spoilers.

“You could tell Bruce Willis was dead because…”
Really bitch? I use that term in a non-binary way. Anyone can be a bitch and people who put spoilers in thread titles are bitches!

1st Honorable Mention “I knew the twist 5 seconds in!” Threads

The 1st Honorable Mention goes to the threads from people who ALWAYS claim to have seen the twist coming. Always! It’s like they get some kind of Internet hipster street cred to say this.
The Village ” I knew the twist from 5 minutes in.”  Sure you did.
The Others, OK
Fight Club, Maybe
Goodnight Mommy,  if you’ve seen A Tale of Two Sisters, it’s possible to pick up on some cues.
Old Boy? No, I don’t believe you. You need more people.

7. “This is the worst movie ever.” Threads

Like anyone could ever know that, Napoleon. If you haven’t seen all the movies ever made, can you definitively say what the worse is. Nevermind the fact that whether a movie is good or bad is completely subjective. However there were very convincing arguments about. Tommy Wiseau’s The Room (Not to be confused with Room)

“I did not hit her, it’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not hit her!
Oh Hi, Mark.”

6. Butt hurt Religious fundamentalist threads.

If you think a particular movie is sacrilegious, hedonistic and of the Devil, then don’t watch it. You know I was going to watch that movie, but someone on IMDb said it was of the devil, so I skipped it. Said no one ever. OPs that start threads like that sound like the mother from The Waterboy.
“Foosball is of the Devil.”

5. “100 Things I learned from this movie” Threads.

Those were so funny! The continuity errors, the defying of the laws of gravity and/or physics, the huge plot holes and movie tropes. All the glorious movie tropes. I will miss those.

4. Reading it at a quarter to 4am after watching a movie at 2am.

There is a certain type of movie that you catch around 2 or 3am. When you catch one, you just need to discuss or read discussions about it. Especially after  you watch something like Happiness, Fat Girl, Shortbus, Me and You and Everyone We Know or anything from Harmony Korine, Larry Clark or Lars von Trier.
Those three make movies you can’t just watch and then go on about your day, or just go to sleep. You have to find others that have experienced what you just did, like a digital group therapy session for post traumatic movie disorder.

3. “Did you notice?” Threads

When you notice something odd or interesting and you visit the boards to see if anyone else noticed the same thing. Like how Walter White taps the knife two times before cutting a sandwich in half on Breaking Bad, or how that girl’s wig kept changing in Fantastic Four.

2. Updates and info about movies in production by the actual people working on them.

Sometimes extras would pop in and write about their experiences. Even some directors responded to questions occasionally.

Second Honorable Mention “More movies like this” Threads.

I discovered so many older movies that I hadn’t heard about from suggestions on IMDb. For example I found out about Xtro, from the Antibirth forum and The Other from The Goodnight Mommy forum. I don’t remember which forum it was, but I found out about Roman Polanski’s Repulsion, which IMO is a way better movie than Rosemary’s Baby.
Polanski is still a child rapist who should be in jail for the rest of his life. I’m just saying Repulsion should get the praise that is given to Rosemary’s Baby.
Speaking of sex offenders who make movies, without IMDb, how am I gonna know if Jeepers Creepers 3 is really going to happen?
Anyway, the number one thing I will miss about the IMDb Message Boards is

1. In depth analysis and discussion of films.

I wish they had archived them because I wasn’t finished reading them. The average poster on IMDb is educated, intelligent, knowledgeable about films and writes thoughtful, clever and often times comical posts.
Yes there were some heated flame wars between racist trolls and the people who felt in their heart that they could reason with them, but overall the majority of the community were just people who really loved film. It will be missed.
Anybody remember Television Without Pity or the MightyBigTV forums. I used to be Sleepwalker12 on those. I miss them too.
Since, I’m an insomniac. I’m gonna go watch another movie and make a video review about it, since I don’t have anywhere to talk about movies anymore.
If you want to talk to me about Horror, Sci-fi and Thriller movies hit me up on Twitter @WDIJW or on my What Did I Just Watch Facebook page

Comments are welcome. I love to hear what you think, but racist, homophobic, or sexist comments will be deleted. It's not that kind of party.

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