Frankenstein’s Army 2013 | Review

frank_army_poster

This starts off like a straight war movie. The first scene feels like you just started watching the movie from the middle. It just gets right to into the action with no set up or exposition, other than allied army troop is on a mission and they run into something horrific.

solders2

There are some things that don’t make sense. Why does Sasha have mittens on? How can he put his finger in the trigger of a riffle with mittens on? Why are the Russian characters only speaking English even when they are talking among themselves?

side-mouth-creature

This just looks cool. Buddy has no nose and a sideways mouth.

That said, we aren’t here to see things that make sense. We are here to see some bad ass experimental mad scientist monsters. This movie knows this and does not take itself too seriously.

I did not like the found footage style in which this was shot. It was a little too much shaky cam. The better scenes felt like a first person shooter video game.

soldiers

The dialogue sounds like cut scenes in a video game. Just there to advance the story. Not a good cut scene that is interesting, a bad one that you hit skip, select weapon, start mission.

There is no score for most of the movie, but the sound design is good except when the monsters made pig noises. That did not work well for me.

interior

The locations look great. They found some great outdoor spaces and indoor abandoned looking factory spaces to shoot in. The set design was really, really great! It looked and felt like the era that it was meant to.

mosquitoman

This creature is called Mosquito Man!

This is like one of those movies that has a dope ass f/x crew who are like, we can make a lot of really cool practical effects, just make up a story around it. Some of the creature designs were cool, and reminded me of movies like Tokyo Gore Police (2008). However others were a step away from that robot monster from the 1950’s.

robot-monster-1953

This is not one of Frankenstein’s Army, it’s Robot Monster (1953).

They look like steam punk robot zombies. The organic part of the practical effects looks great, the mechanical parts were illogical and tactically bad designs. That said, they were still kind of fun. I laughed out loud when I saw the propeller head monster.

propellorhead

This creature is actually really called Propeller Head.

There are some cool visuals, but something was missing in the writing. Let me know what you think that is. The story was straight forward and didn’t need any further explanation, yet it still felt incomplete.

Maybe it was lacking character development. Because the movie just jumps into the action and barely introduces the characters, you don’t really care if they make it out or if they die.

mad-doctor

That would be alright, if the kills were entertaining enough to make up for the lack of character development. The most fleshed out character was the mad doctor. He was the best actor in this as well.

At almost an hour and a half, this feels overly long because of the lack of character and story development. This movie should have been no longer than 72-75 mins. It was just alright. Not great, but not bad either. I watched it for free on Amazon Prime so I can’t complain too much.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 10.40.21 PM

I don’t know why Google indexed The Last House on the Left, Cannibal Ferox and Blood Sucking Freaks as Nazi-sploitation movies, but the other movies fit the description.

If you like nazi zombie themed movies, you may want to check out Trench 11 (2017) and Overlord (2018). The Asylum has also released a movie called Nazi Overlord (2018) but I cannot vouch for the quality of that one yet. Not to mention a wealth of nazi exploitation horror movies from the 1970’s.

Comments are welcome. I love to hear what you think, but racist, homophobic, or sexist comments will be deleted. It's not that kind of party.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s