The First Purge Review

purge4

Before I get started, let me tell you a funny thing I overheard at the movie theater, while I was waiting in line for popcorn.

Girl: So and so called and asked “You gonna get lit? It’s the fourth of July. You’re supposed to get lit.” I said, “No. Who wants to get lit every day?”

Guy: “I do. I’m trying to live my best life.”

Now that the scene is set, let’s get into it. The brother and sister in this movie are both unlikeable and at times irritating. The brother makes dumb decisions and his head is shaped like a character from Hey Arnold.

The sister is self righteous and judgemental. She’s like those people who suddenly discover political injustice around their junior year in college and speak as if they are the first to recognize it, even though it’s been written about in books half a century ago and beyond, but go off sis.

screen_shot_2018-04-06_at_10.10.57_am_1_-_h_2018

She was too self-righteous to stay with the drug dealer and his shooters or leave the island for the night. I’d have left the island or stayed with the dealer.

They used CGI blood. Boo!

PG-13 fatalities. Boo!

I liked Rambro! He was so cool. It really felt like a urban Rambo movie. Some people complained, “How can one guy take out several militia’s!?” Who tf cares? Enjoy the one man army killing neo-nazis. I did.

Also, if you are complaining about realism, you must be young. I grew up on one man or woman taking on everybody. Deathwish, Foxy Brown, Commando, Cleopatra Jones, First Blood, China O’Brien everything starring Steven Seagal. My dad used to take us to see those Missing in Action movies and the Iron Eagle movies too.

Remember Action Jackson or Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins? If you are my age don’t act brand new like this is such an out there concept. There is a reason why they made so many movies like that. They. Are. Fun.  

MV5BZDgyZTVmZDYtNmUzOS00ZmYwLThhZWEtMDA4ZjAzNGUwYjE3XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDIzMzcwNjc@._V1_SX1777_CR0,0,1777,729_AL_

You know what movies this kind of reminded me of? Escape from New York and The Warriors a little bit because the characters have to traverse a dangerous area to get to safety.

The fatalities were lackluster because of CGI blood and cutaways. It should have gone full 80’s slasher, especially since they payed homage to two major 80’s slasher icons.

Show us some shit or even do the kills Italian giallo style. This is not technically a spoiler because obviously people are going to die. One girl it stabbed repeatedly in the abdomen and is just left with a bloody spot on her dress.

Her dress should have torn and some of her intestines should have fallen out. If you’re going to go there, go there! I just saw some cool carnage in Upgrade and Brawl on Cell Block 99. You can do action thriller and still give us gore connoisseurs something juicy.

Practical effects with no cutaways would have elevated this movie. I’m surprised this was rated R and not PG-13 because they didn’t really take advantage of the R rating at all.

This movie was so fun. It doesn’t necessarily need to be seen in the theater. I think it will be just as fun on V.O.D. if you have decent size TV and surround sound.

This movie is going to be a cult classic. One might not think this counts as a part 4. Though technically a prequel, it is a fourth installment. It’s rare to have a good 4th movie in a franchise. So rare that I can only just think of 5 good part 4 movies:

Rocky IV

Friday the 13th IV : The Final Chapter

Insidious Last Key – I thought it was fun.

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones – It was decent, don’t @ me. It was decent af.

and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4

giphy

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 had some of the best practical effects of the series and Sheila holds a special place in this little black girl who loves horror’s heart.

077fgoadrq901

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my short review and be sure to come back after you’ve seen The First Purge. In order for me to discuss the socio-political subtext, I have to mention some spoilers. So I wrote a companion to this piece. Feel free to click here to read a more in depth analysis of The First Purge.

Comments are welcome. I love to hear what you think, but racist, homophobic, or sexist comments will be deleted. It's not that kind of party.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s